all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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