Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
