yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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