Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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