we're blogging at a bar
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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