i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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