I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also, beer. Big fan.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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