i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
