either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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