just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize