I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
