I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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