I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
