Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(623): View more from Arizona

I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.

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(806): View more from Texas

I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?

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(519): View more from Ontario

my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...

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