i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
