It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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