there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
