Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
handjob tips. give me some.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
