he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize