four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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