i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
