i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
