he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize