First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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