The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
