I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
