he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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