Its about making memories worth repressing
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize
