it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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