Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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