Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
someone owes me an orgasm
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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