He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
