I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
you never un-have a 4some
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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