the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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