you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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