What did we do last night that was yellow?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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