Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize