well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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