Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize