Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
