People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
