dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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