Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize