Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
