I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
