He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
