I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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