but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This baby is an asshole
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
