Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
