Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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