turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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