I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize