So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
