I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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