and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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