He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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