I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
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i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
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I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize