she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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